On the first day of Session, my Legislature gave to me…

*First published in the Dec. 19 edition of the Laurel Chronicle

It’s mid-December already. Can you believe it? We’re one step closer to welcoming St. Nick into our houses and legislators into our capitol. This column (the third installment of a four-part series on the legislative session) will look at the political dynamics coming Jan. 7, the first day of the 2014 Regular Legislative Session.

I’ve been feeling some major Christmas spirit this year, so I’d like to look at session politics through a “12 Days of Christmas” prism.

On the first week of session, legislators will give to us their best partridge (in a pear tree?) impressions. The famous bird of song has an aversion to high places and long flights, and it doesn’t build its nest in trees (too risky). Like this bird, I imagine most legislators will exercise caution not to fly too high initially while they scope out the political dynamics of 2014.

Don’t expect to see any peace-bearing turtle doves gliding through the hallways of the State Capitol this year, either. These second gifts of Christmas likely won’t perch at the dome, considering the upcoming race between Jones County native State Senator Chris McDaniel and incumbent U.S. Senator Thad Cochran; partisan fights over Obamacare; and so on. Remember that we’re inching closer to re-election year (2015), which means everything will be weighed against its campaign implications.

With so much at stake this year, you can bet your bottom dollar the session will be chock full of French hens. (Finally we have found a Christmas gift appropriate for legislative proceedings!) I guarantee we’ll see passionate floor speeches, hyper-partisan legislation introduced, the works. I’d wager a few legislators will play the role of calling (or, more accurately, “Colly”) birds which are known for reacting favorably toward shiny bills (hey, it takes money to run for re-election, right?).

There’s always some kissing of the rings at the Capitol, which leads us to our five golden rings of Christmas. This time-honored tradition usually reaps its own reward, much like the production of the eggs from the six geese-a-laying. You’ve got to sow seeds of political goodwill to get any legislation passed, regardless of the bill’s individual merit. The payoff? An egg or two in your favor.

Capitol staff (lawyers, policy wonks, budgeteers, committee assistants, and others) will be working hard to keep the legislative swans a-swimming along as peacefully as possible, and for that they should be commended.

Lobbyists and advocates will do their best milk-maid impressions to squeeze out legislative support for their various clients, interests, and causes. It’s not a popular nor easy job, but in many ways very necessary to keeping the government wheels a-spinning.

If you’re wondering where one might find ladies dancing and lords-a-leaping during the session, that’s easy: At any of the numerous legislative receptions held during the session. Receptions are a must for capitol dwellers, as they provide a double whammy – a place to network and a place to get free food and drink.

We’re sure to see more than eleven pipers piping about bills, initiatives, and so on. Bagpipes have traditionally been used in a military context, and it seems the political equivalent is hosting press conferences to announce the onset of a political battle. Expect lots of press conferences, events, and other media-driven bagpipes during these next three months.

Much like pipers, drummers drumming have played crucial roles by providing a steady marching beat to armed forces. This session, be on the lookout for anyone who’s not marching to the beat of his army’s drum cadence, as that is usually a sign of political unrest.

My disclaimer, of course, is that I make these tongue-in-cheek comparisons to give readers a somewhat humorous look at the political dynamics in every legislative session – regardless of which political party is currently in power. The capitol culture is an environment in which quirks are the norm, personalities rule the day, but, importantly, those in positions of power truly want to help their constituents. This shared goal is what makes the capitol dome go ‘round, and it is what drives the adoption of policies that help Mississippians from the top to the bottom of the state.

The process isn’t always pretty, but the fact that good legislation is adopted is, you could say, something of a Christmas miracle.